So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
