So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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