He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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