ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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