my sisters under your porch take her home
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
