There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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