One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
