Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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