My sheets look like a crime scene.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
