The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
