Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
