If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
