I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
