Define "chronic" masturbator.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
