The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
