Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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