What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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