I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
