We're facebook friends in real life
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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