it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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