My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
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she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
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Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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