I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
