bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize