Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
is wine microwaveable?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize