Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
