just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
