Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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