i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
