you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize