I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
