ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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