I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
