You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
