So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize