you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
