Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
