that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
