Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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