It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
