You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
