well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
