I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
