Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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