If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
