i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
