im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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