Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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