she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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