Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
