His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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