so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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