didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize