Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
