I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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