so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize