Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize