i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
