i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
