i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
