Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
foreskin is a definite game changer
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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